The Army calls it dysentery… and I say there is nothing more humbling to an adult human being than that. Running to the bathroom, worrying if you‘re going to make it in time… that sick, clammy feeling you get on your skin when you’ve lost about 4 pounds of fluid… the gripping cramps and lurching, sinking feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. Can you think of anything that brings a greater feeling of helplessness? That was my day yesterday. I was all dehydrated and just felt awful… as much as I hate the way it tastes, Gatorade is the best thing to help bring a person back to him/herself after a bout of the stomach flu. Gatorade tastes like fruit-flavoured sweat, but if you’re dehydrated it’ll rehydrate you faster than ordinary water will do. I drank some of that down, and took some Immodium tablets… that was funny, the instructions said not to exceed 8 tablets… but there were only 6 in a package. This tells me that somewhere, somebody has overdosed on these… and had to go buy another package in order to be able to do it.

Every time I see evidence of the stupidity of some of our population, I worry about the potential fate of our race. Like my toaster oven, for example. It clearly states in the instructions never to place the toaster oven inside a conventional oven. Damn, there go my plans to make Toaster Oven Casserole. WHY would anyone anywhere ever put their toaster oven inside another oven? To make it cook faster?