I am terrified. I�m scared out of my skull� I have to get on a plane for the first time on Sunday and I am terrified it�ll crash into the ocean or something. The fact that this plane doesn�t even have to go near the ocean has remarkably little effect on my paranoid fears. I just know I am going to vomit on the plane. I get carsick on long car rides, of course I�m going to get sick in a plane. I�m flying economy class, too� so whoever happens to be sitting next to me will probably end up getting coated in nervous spew. Sorry, guy.

Last few days at work have been rough. I wanted to get as much as possible done before taking off for two weeks. I didn�t get everything I wanted done, but I feel I did pretty well all things considered. I�ve never been off work for more than 4 days at a stretch before- I booked a week off last year, but ended up back in after 4 days because of some thing or another. They needed me, they called, I went. Boss tells me to enjoy myself and just let go of all the stress and enjoy the feeling as long as I can make it last. I�m planning to- he�s right, I deserve it, and I need this.

Last night I had to call the police about another crackhead causing trouble at work, Why do these characters always come in on my shift? Never when the manager (who�s over 6 feet tall and a man) is there. This is how it went down.

One of our semi-regular customers came over to the counter and told me that there was somebody taking off all her clothes in the ladies� restroom. My reaction was �are you serious???

�Oh, yes�. she replied. �There�s a pile of clothes on the floor and she�s making a lot of noise. I think she may be shooting up in there.�

�Great.�

I went into the bathroom to look, and sure enough, there was a woman locked in the stall who was very obviously stripping off everything she had on. There were shoes and a lot of change, and what looked like a bottle of pills. And a lot of clothing. The lady who had told me I should go check out what was going on in the bathroom followed me in. She proceeded to tell the person in the stall that she was a nurse, and ask if she needed any help. At that point the woman in the stall started screaming profanities at the top of her lungs, to which I responded that she had roughly two minutes to get herself together and get out before I called the police.

�Call the f*cking cops, B*tch! I�m not f*cking going anywhere!�

I shrugged and said �ok�.

This never fails to surprise me. People do this all the time� they cause trouble, and I tell them that if they don�t leave I�ll call the police, and then they tell me to go ahead and call them. Which I invariably do, and they�re invariably surprised when I do it. They never seem to think I�ll follow through on the threat, but I�ve always figured there�s no point in saying you�re going to do it if you don�t fully intend to go through with it.

I went to the back of house and picked up the phone, dialing 911 because after hours you get an automated message system from the police instructing you to call 911.

�police, fire or ambulance?�

�police, please.�

�where are you located?�

I told him, and he asked me what the nature of our trouble was.

�well, we have a woman locked in our restroom stripping off all her clothes and screaming profanity. I�d like some assistance in having her removed.�

�Can you describe this person?�

�not exactly, she�s locked in the stall and unless I get right underneath, all I can see is her hand and her feet.�

�Is this person male or female?�

�I�m pretty sure it�s a woman. It sounded like a woman�s voice, and it looked like a woman�s hand.�

�Ethnic background?�

�Hard to say, all I saw was her hand.�

�What colour was the hand?�

�Caucasian.�

�Approximately what age would you say this person is?�

�I have no way of knowing that. She�s locked in the stall.�

�And what is she doing?�

�Other than screaming profanity and taking off her clothes? I have no idea. All I know is that there is a lot of clothing on the floor, including her shoes, and a bottle of pills next to her feet. She�s very loud and very abusive, and I�d like her out of there before she does something more serious than scream.�

�ok, I�ve created a call for service. There should be an officer on the way.�

�thank you.�

Now, tell me I don�t deserve a vacation.