I'M 65.5% X-rated. HOW HORNY ARE YOU?

Oscar wants my cereal. He�s sitting here as I write, grumbling and growling for it�

Probably because it tastes like dog food. Damn healthy multigrain sh*t.

I�m being good. Healthy multigrain cereal for breakfast, and grapes. For lunch, I will have some mango covered in lowfat 1% yogurt. I�d use fat-free, except they always put pectin in the fat-free, and then it becomes this nasty yogurt flavoured Jell-O. How gross! I find myself constantly wondering who buys that crud. Who would ever knowingly buy yogurt that you could bounce your spoon off of? Who eats it? Someone has to, or they wouldn�t keep making it. I doubt enough people buy it �just once� to try it in order to justify its existence. No, some people have to make that first purchase, and like the rubbery dairy treat, and continue to buy it.

Anyway, I digress. I forgot my lunch in the fridge before I left for work yesterday, and resorted to buying a bagel. Not quite as healthy as I had hoped. Still, my lunch from yesterday became dinner, and I�ll not make that mistake again.

I hate bananas. Which is a shame, since they�re really inexpensive and conveniently packaged by nature. Too bad they taste like fruit-flavoured wax. It�s a texture thing� banana bread, banana Popsicle� those are okay. But an actual banana? Yuk.

I also really hate Venetian cream, or custard, or anything resembling snot. A pie is meant to have fruit in it, not mucous. Every time I sell a Boston Cream donut at work, I cringe inwardly at the whole concept of chocolate and snot. Bet you can imagine how much I love making Banana Cream Pie� slicing up nasty bananas and surrounding them with custard. The very idea makes me sick. I�ve never understood the appeal. It�s a condition known as custard-it is.

This makes me think there is something distinctly Freudian about my eating habits.