At this point in time, I don�t know if I have a job or not.
That�s a very unnerving way to feel.
I have been released from the hospital, and Oscar�s been playing nurse ever since. I don�t know what I�d have done without him, he�s been my sanity for the past few days. He makes me get up in the AM, makes me rest later on, makes me get fresh air� he really has been looking out for me. I expect him to bully me into bed pretty soon.
Called work from the hospital, they said everything except the words �you�re fired�. Said I had �reliability issues� and that �this isn�t working out�. Didn�t really say one way or the other if I still had employment or not. Right now, I still don�t know- been playing telephone tag with the boss for two days. I called last, left a very specific message about when docs said I could come back, and I also stopped in to the store and left a copy of the doctor�s note for him. I figure it�s his turn to call me back now, I called the last three times. If I haven�t heard anything before then, I will just show up on Saturday prepared to work�
The whole thing has me pretty pissed. They can�t legally let me go for a condition they knew I had before I was hired on, it�s very illegal. And I gave up a great deal to move here and take this job. I can�t help but be angry! Beaupeep told me this morning not to let it get me down� I can�t help but feel a bit of a failure as well. I told him I can�t help but be kind of down, but I won�t let it keep me down. That�ll have to be good enough.
Right now my biggest priority is to get well. Beyond that, I will wait and see what happens. I am hoping I can just return to work and do the job I was hired and trained to do, but I am prepared to fight for my rights and move onwards if need be.
Oscar�s a huge source of comfort and faith, too. He loves me no matter what, and I will always be tops in his little eyes, so I can�t give up. He�s counting on me! Last night when I lay in bed crying because I felt so useless and helpless, he got right in beside me and kissed my tears away. He made happy doggie noises until I giggled and felt better, and stuck with me until I fell asleep.
I have faith in my abilities. I have my wits and my ethics, and I have good references and a good attitude. If these people don�t want to make use of it, there will be plenty of others who will be happy to make use of my talents. I am not happy about not knowing, but I know one way or the other, it�ll be all right.